Change Begets Opportunity

"When you get right down to the root meaning of the word 'succeed', you find that it simply means to 'follow through'."
~ F.W. Nichol

Today marks the official end of the "How to Be Successful at Life" blog. The blog and I have had a sometimes acrimonious relationship - there were days where I'd either spend an hour staring at a blank screen, browsing the news sites looking for inspiration, or typing then deleting numerous pieces because none of them felt right... sometimes all of the latter. But in the end, I came to appreciate the opportunities it gave me - to improve my written communication, to share my experiences, to offer my perspective and, sometimes, to simply let off some steam. Sometimes I would go weeks or months without knowing if I was writing it for anyone other than myself, and then suddenly, out of nowhere, what I said would resonate for someone and I'd receive an email of agreement, dissent or simply a compliment on the blog itself - and I'd see that the reach was greater than I'd believed. To all of those people who followed and read regularly - thank you. You made it worthwhile.

However, as happens regularly in life - one road ends and another begins... such is the case here. I will continue to write on the Mondays every week, but it will be on a different blog: http://www.swimupstreamlife.com/. It is my sincerest hope that for those few that followed regularly they will come across to the other blog - but for those who don't, once again... my sincerest appreciation for following over the last two and-a-half years.

"Named must be your fear, before banish it you can" (Yoda). Time to embrace change and start a new path... hope to see you there with me.

~Guy

Notes from The Handbook of Life

From Chapter 3 - "Real World Courtesy"

#7: When you go into a shared fridge or cupboard (ie. in your staff room) and come across something upon which you would like to snack, ask the person who's food it is - to do otherwise would often be called "stealing" in other circumstances. If, however, you are an utter douchebag and decide to partake in the snack anyway - at least have the decency to leave behind at least a serving for the person to whom the food actually belongs. Finally - if you come across a final serving, of food which you know is not yours, and THEN choose to eat it anyway - the person who owns the food may punch you in the mouth, if they so choose, the next time they see you.

From Chapter 6 - "Uncommon Sense"

#17: If you are refilling a publicly used soap, shampoo or conditioning dispenser which is clear (and therefore shows the appearance of the aforementioned substance) - make sure that the liquid you are pouring on top matches that which you are topping up. If it does not - STOP POURING IT... to do otherwise means the next person that comes along who possesses even a shred of personal accountability will have to take the dispenser off the wall, empty it (and thereby wasting what was poured in afterward), clean it and refill it. The person who had to clean up your mess may then punch you in the mouth, if they so choose, the next time they see you.

~Guy

What you seek, You already are

Currently, I'm reading The Book of Secrets, By Deepak Chopra. The saying holds true, that when the student is ready the teacher shall appear. This book couldn't have come at a better time in my life. Without trying to sounds too cliche this book has opened my mind to a whole new level of understanding. I wanted to share an important insight from the book, in regards to seeking. Seeking, is basically just another word for chasing. We're all chasing after something. We all have our motivators but what are we really after? Chopra says, "Seeking is a word often applied to the spirtual path - and often the people that seek a higher, better self, are the same people who once chased too hard after money and power. The problem with this is seeking begins with a false assumption - the chase, in fact takes you outside yourself. Productive seeking requires that you throw out all assumptions that there is a prize to be won. this means acting without hope of rising to some ideal self, hope being a wish that you'll get somewhere better that the place you started from. You are starting from yourself, and its the self that contains all the answers. So you have to give up on the idea that you must go from A to B." Are you falling into a habit of seeking? What is it that you seek? Look no more, because what you seek, you already are. Be a genuine seeker and avoid these pitfalls:

1) Don't know where you're going:
Spiritual growth is spontaneous. The big events come along unexpectedly, and so do the small ones. A single word can open your heart; a single glance can tell you who you really are. Awakening doesn't happen according to the plan. It's much more like putting together a jigsaw puzzle without knowing the finished picture in advance. All you can imagine in advance are images, and images are never the same as the goal

2) Don't struggle to get there:
If there was a spiritual payoff at the end of the trail, like a pot of gold or the key to heaven, everyone would work as hard as possible for the reward. Any struggle would be worth it. But does it help a two year old to struggle to become three? No, because the process of child development unfolds from within. The same is true for spiritual unfolding. It happens just as naturally as childhood development, but on the plane of awareness rather than in the realm of physiology.

3) Don't follow someone else's map:
If you follow someone else's map, you could be training yourself in a fixed way of thinking. Fixed ways, even those devoted to spirit, are not the same as being free. You should glean teachings from all directions, keeping true to those that bring progress yet remaining open to changes in yourself.

Inconsistency Begets Hypocrisy

The world is many shades of grey - this is a fact. However, the only way to ensure that people receive just, equal and fair treatment is to narrow this spectrum to as close to black and white as possible. When you start making exceptions, allowing for one person or group to be treated a little different, you open the door for this inequality of treatment. And when you are the person arguing for some sort of exemption or modification, and then change the rules for yourself... well, that's how we wind up with a society where every person is shooting for a different net.

Take the Canadian whale hunt - which has been allowed for certain indigineous tribes under the guise of preserving a traditional component of their culture. Frankly, I believe that this argument has merit - and should be allowed, with a certain degree of regulation. That being said though, the government needs to ensure that it happens under a tightly controlled set of parameters to protect the whale population, but more importantly - if the Inuit and Northwest Coast tribes are using the argument that it's part of their tradition... they should do it traditionally. This means: no speedboats, and certainly no high-powered rifles... paddle boats and harpoons, and that's it. Is it dangerous? Absolutely. But this is the decision that they should be left with - not "this is part of our traditions" and then applying 21st century technology to it.

Furthermore, as soon as our leaders begin making exceptions for one or two special interest groups, more and more people begin asking for them and they will actually have merit to their requests. Consider this when you find yourself in a leadership position - if you maintain a consistent approach, people will not only know ahead of time what your response will likely be, but they will also know that your answer for them will be the same for everyone. Remember that your role is to lead, not to be people's friends... you may not always be liked, but you will be respected.

~Guy

Fear

What does fear mean to me? It's a temporary road block, standing between freedom and a fixed way of thinking. A choice must be made to either let go and live or stay unchanged. What do I fear? I fear going fast down hills on a bike. That fear is usually heightened when there are trees, rocks and roots - or a combination of all three. The idea of completely letting go of your brakes sounds crazy - especially when you're facing down a steep drop. I made plenty of excuses - I blamed the weather, blamed the bike: the seat was too low, I was too tall, the trail was too narrow, the tree's too close, I wasn't a downhill biking, I'm not made for speed, I'm a climber, I can't go fast, I'm scared, I might hit a tree, I might get hurt - All of these excuses didn't change the fact that unless I let go, I was going to be scared forever. I was letting my fears control me and I refused to embrace the moment. I was making the choice to not live free. So when did I decide to go for it? It took just three words. My friend told me she felt the same way for the longest time, until one day she just let go. It was that simple. Just let go. A couple minutes later I was faced with yet another steep drop. I stood there for a moment on my bike, and tried to analyze the trail - thinking it would help, but really just buying myself time - stalling from taking that leap. What my friend had said played in my mind again and it was then I decided to just let go. I pushed off the dirt and gripped the handle bars - no brakes. Before I knew it I was speeding down the hill, veering left, jarring right, and avoiding some very close calls with a couple trees. When I finally reached the bottom I felt an overwhelming sense of energy over my entire body - I felt alive! More alive than I had in a long time. My heart was pounding in my chest, I had a huge grin plastered across my face and I couldn't believe what I had just done. There was no time to analyze, to over-think, or let my fears take me down that hill - it was the ability to just let go and live in that moment. Nothing else mattered. To think I would have missed out on such an experience. Imagine being able to re-create that feeling in every day life. Doing one thing every day that scares you: What does that look like for you? Are you living life and letting go of your brakes? Are you truly living free?

Inspiration

1 one word - Paralympics!

These next two weeks Vancouver is again playing host to the paralympians, their coaches, their support crew and families. The numerous stories that surround these athletes and their journey to get to the Paralympics are unbelievable. How they have truly overcome adversity through there disability, challenged themselves to make something out of their lives and now to celebrate the victory of representing their country, by competing at the Olympics.

The road these athletes take from first being diagnosed with their disability, to making the Paralympics, is truly remarkable and inspirational. If you need inspiration, turn to these paralympians and read about their story. This will certainly get you back on track.

Putting Yourself Out There

Recently I was contacted via Facebook about an upcoming class reunion and I thought that the organizer (a guy I remember to be funny and articulate) had some valuable points that speak to many situations that I have been giving thought to of late which made them particularily poignant.

Obviously the highschool reunion is it's own entity but if you think about potentially awkward social situations and the leap of faith required to attend the final points that he highlights are all the more interesting, especially in the small(er) business world where reputation and word of mouth can make or break.

"There were several groupings of people;

1. Some that just wanted to come because they wanted to see people and have a party.

2. Some that felt it was an honor to represent their grad class and attending.

3. Batch that would love to be there more than anything, but personal schedule conflicted or logistically impossible to come.

4. Some that felt they did not want to go back after 10+ and feel that the lack of achievement of their goals and aspirations would be uncomfortable around other people.

5. Many that were excited about their success and wanted to come back to compare with grad classes.

We know not everyone will not be able to make it, but we ask all to try as 4 hours is not enough to respect and celebrate the grad class on 1994. Be proud of where you came from or from a selfish point of view do it for a Networking angle. We join associations and spend money to attend conventions to meet people to assist in our personal goals. If you are confident that the grad class of 1994 and the soil you studied on developed successful people – you should attend.

Social and business networking is the modern standard in developing relationships throughout the world. The potential for recognition and building networks within our grad class of professionals in numerous fields on a global scale is unlimited.

A personal story is a couple that had an 18 year old daughter than was trying to get into a US college. At one of our reunions the couple had the opportunity to meet someone that was in the recruiting department of Alabama State.

That is one example; I can bore or interest you in many more – with business owners, investor’s, teachers, creative minded people, artists, medical profession, work from home moms/dads, trades, etc .. Your opportunities are endless, and if you don’t attend for yourselves think of your kids that may need these contacts to succeed.

Remember it isn’t what you know, it’s who you know and also who knows you! If you re-acquaint yourself with one new connection it will benefit you for a lifetime!"

The point is, look at how much the people who skip it miss out on to save themselves either trouble or embarrassment? Is it ever worth it to be a wallflower?

-Angela Tames