Scary Indeed... Focus and prioritize

I read with interest this week that Ontario passed law to ban cellphone driving behind the wheel. Most people have been guilty of this at some point, myself included, though in the past two years I have stopped for several reasons (unless in case of emergency, which has yet to occur.)
Why such a big deal? Well, the question to me is why is it necessary? Really, how many of us need to chatting away to our brother's girlfriend about last night's Gilmore Girls re-run while coasting on the highway over the speed limit, or making idle chit chat idling in traffic only to risk distraction and bumping the next person in line. It's a matter of focus.

Before my arrival at IF I worked out at various gyms and fitness clubs, and have witnessed those who will put down the weights during a set of bench press or hop off the treadmill to answer a cellphone. Now I cant know what each call is about, nor would I want to, but in reality how many of those are emergencies or necessary calls? How many are just an indulgence in ego and inability to focus on the task at hand? Would I stop a conversation with a friend on the street to do 15 extra pushups? Well no, THAT would be silly. Besides, I am focused on my conversation, on my friend. I have my priorities in order.

I had this debate with a friend who suggested I viewed technology as a bad thing. Technology is inanimate, it's how we use it and apply it to our daily life that determines whether it is positive or negative influence. Much like our health, there comes a time in life (holidays, busy work periods, personal commitments) when we might slip in our gym routine, then work extra hard to recover. That's being responsible for our health, by re-focusing our commitment. The scenario in the gym or car is more about technology enabling us to be lazy. Driving isn't a place to kill time by chatting away. It's a place where you could kill a whole lot of people within a split second with one minor discretion. The gym is one area... The open road at high speeds... A completely new level. It's a perfect example of imbalance in priorities.

The point: Focus, responsibilities and results/success go hand in hand. Many see it in regular clients everyday. Those who come early in the morning (or realistically whenever they can) and give a hard effort in their hour as opposed to those who come 15 minutes late, hungover, and answer the berry device with every little chime to make party plans. In fact, I have just described a regular to the bone, someone who is very friendly but has been given the priorities lecture by several trainers many times. The ability to focus on ourselves, our well being, and our responsibilities as they relate to the individual within society are all dictated by priorities. In the gym, its your own health you toy with, and it's fairly easily remedied if you can focus. On the open road, it's everyone else's well being, not just your own. If that can't be a priority to the people driving in the time they are there.... Scary.

What frightens you?

I have to admit, I like being scared. I don't love it, I won't sit down to a marathon of creepy movies mostly because all of my life I have been prone to nightmares, but I do like a good fright. I think this is part of human nature, we enjoy pushing our boundaries but want to be in control, when I am watching movies in my living room I am in control, when asleep, I of course am not.

Halloween is a perfect example, we dress up, or dress up our children, We take them door to door, and they receive candy for their willingness to be vulnerable and also to entertain. If it weren't for us standing by their side this would be a very frightening experience.

When researching fear and what is available for people around the globe I came across this website that discusses a forest in Japan at the base of Mt. Fuji. The forest is open to all to visit for multiple purposes but it is considered "suicide forest" and the write-up below comes from a Japanese tourist website. The other purpose however to visit the forest it to scare the wits out of yourself and explore the history of the forest and those that didn't make it out.

"Aokigahara is considered the most haunted location in all of Japan, a purgatory for yurei, the unsettled ghosts of Japan who have been torn unnaturally soon from their lives and who howl their suffering on the winds. Spiritualists say that the trees themselves are filled with a malevolent energy, accumulated from centuries of suicides. They don't want you to go back out.

"However, even in these haunted woods, regular humans still have a job to do. Forestry workers rotate in and out of shifts at a station building in Aokigahara, and occasionally they will come upon unfortunate bodies in various states of decomposition, usually hanging from trees or partially eaten by animals. The bodies are brought down to the station, where a spare room is kept especially for such occasions. In this room are two beds: one for the corpse and one for someone to sleep next to it. Yup, you read that correctly. It is thought that if the corpse is left alone, the lonely and unsettled yurei will scream the whole night through, and the body will move itself into the regular sleeping quarters. In inimitable style, the workers jan-ken to see who gets to sleep with the body. And you thought your job was rough."

Are these people who work within this forest thrill seekers? Why would anyone want to put themselves in this position? Perhaps it is simply to face their fears and test their boundaries.

-Angela Tames

Validation

Every once in a while - over the years of battles that we fight every day (big and small)... we win. Perhaps not right away, and perhaps not as a direct result of what we did... but there are times now and then when something we fight for happens.

I had one of those moments a few weeks ago.

Back in 2002, I lived at Capilano Road - 3924 Capilano Road, to be exact. I used to cross the street to jog in the park, but there were no crosswalks to the entrance... there was one up the hill, but it meant going up two blocks before coming back down to the entrance immediately across from me. Now, I know what you're thinking - quit being lazy.

Indeed.

I probably wouldn't have cared, except for the number of other pedestrians I saw trying to cross there - especially kids who went to the elementary school. And this was the straw that broke the camel's back - I was heading out for a run one day, and saw this 7 or 8 year old girl trying to cross the street. Standing there with her arm out, waiting for the cars to stop - and every single car whipped by at 60-70km an hour. Without fail. I finally walked out an stopped the traffic, because it became clear nobody would do so otherwise. I realized that this was a tragedy in the making, as some kid was going to get creamed trying to cross.

I wrote the district. They had some intern write back explaining that this wasn't a significant enough issue, and that they couldn't just randomly put in crosswalks. I called, and asked for the transit supervisor, and had a meeting where I showed that this wasn't a "random" crosswalk, but a point where many of the locals crossed, particularly children and the elderly for whom that two block climb was just too much. I was politely told not to worry about it.

So I called the paper. I told them that I was getting the "thanks, now just go away" treatment from the district, and that someone was going to get killed at this crosswalk and I wanted to publicly hold someone accountable for it. If someone was going to die - I wanted to be able to walk up to the transit supervisor and say "I warned you about this, I told you it would happen - you are as responsible for this person's death as the person driving."

Anyway, despite everything, no crosswalk went in and I moved shortly after - I had tried all I could, but without simply paying for it myself there was nothing else to be done.

BUT: the other day, I had a craving for Chinese food from Capilano Heights Chinese Food (delicious restaurant, by the way) and drove past the old house for the first time in years. You know what? There's a crosswalk there now.

Having been a part of this fight - I had a small celebration as I drove home for this small victory.

On to the next one.

~Guy

Balance

Getting many things done (things you need to do, including thing you want to do)

It’s not a message we haven’t heard before. Balance is key in order to maintain ones success. When referring to ones focuses, we need to be orderly and uphold our balance.

Personally, I have heard this all before and it hasn’t really sunk in until now. It is now apparent what it takes to do all the things that I need to do in order to do the things I want to do…

As an example, in order to spend time with a friend after work, we need to get our work done to the best of our abilities beforehand.

Another great analogy most of us have been exposed to is ‘being 100%’. The meaning behind this is using ones time to the highest of ones capacity in order to simply get the most out of each day.

How often do you sit down to begin a task only to be side tracked or start an additional task…meaning if you are not performing at a high level on one task, you are most likely performing at a lower level on 2 or more tasks. To be 100% all the time takes planning and practice. If you plan to relax, you relax..if you plan to workout, you workout…if you plan to complete a task, you complete that task…

There can be many personal values put towards balance. But whatever that value, we need to recognize balance is key in order to do all the things we want to do in our day.

Tool Box

In our Innovative Fitness Forum Meeting this past weekend, one of the main topics we discussed, was using our “tool box”.

The key is to think about what is actually in your tool box so that you can use them to solve problems, conflicts and issues you may have in your professional and/or personal life.

The tools can be used in many ways, however you need to think about which tools you have, when to use that tool and if that particular tool doesn’t work – use a different tool.

A simple example that relates to our professional carreer – is how do we motivate our customer?

What tools do we have to motivate our customer?
1. The systems we already have in place here at IF (program, goals, profile etc)
2. Their Currency – values, motivators, what makes them tic
3. Their Color – what drives them, how they come across, and behavior patterns
4. Their P.I. – Their story, where they are from, experiences, strengths and weakness
5. Other coaches – the experiences they have had with a customer, insight they can give to you about points 1-4.

Theses are 5 tools out of many you can use to motivate a customer and this is just one example. You can use your tool box for many other things; like conflicts with another coach, problems with you significant other, and/or getting a message through to your family members.

You have to THINK about how you are going to use the right tools to get your message across and solve your problem.

Be Your Own Leader First

I was asked the other day of what I thought about various types of leadership and how they corresponded to personal growth, within the general confines of the gym but also in the world at large.

Personally I prefer to lead by example, since you cannot expect someone else to carry a torch you have handed them any further than you have brought it yourself. By this I mean your expectation of others should not be any higher than what you expect from yourself and display on a daily basis. A few examples come to mind;

The Critical Mass cycle group has very lofty ambitions and noble goals. However, having witnessed this somewhat regular venture a few times left me disheartened. No one will argue the goals of reduced fuel consumption, cleaner air, and overall environmental benefit are not worth pursuing. However, when upwards of 5000-7500 people take the streets at once, aiming to cause crippling gridlock during rush hour traffic I was appalled by several glaring holes in rationale; lack of bike helmets, complete disregard for traffic signals and cars (apparently the laws do not apply to the environmentally self righteous) and the immediate cause of hours worth of idling... Negating any possible benefit they were hoping to impose. Right idea, wrong implementation. If you want to hold society to a higher standard, be the first to display the behaviour.

I recall a client asking the best way she can push herself on weekends when running longer distances by herself. She had the right motivation, but when hitting the wall on her run, she needed someone to push her through the difficult phases. I asked her if she had tried coaching herself, and after a confused look, explained my own personal approach; When faced with a difficult exercise or moment of mental/physical weakness, I think of myself as a client, and what I would say or do to coach that client through those moments. Realistically, its a minor degree of seperation in your mind, and while it isn't perfect, being able to lead myself through those periods the way I would lead someone else is how I have managed to become my own coach. If I expect my clients to trust me and follow me through the times we are together, I need to be able to trust myself and my own coaching to truly call myself a leader. Is it as effective as having a second person there? Probably not to the same level. Has it helped me reach new levels and hold myself to a higher standard?Absolutely.

Talk is cheap, as are half-hearted actions and knee jerk solutions to problems in society or in personal life. Though our intent may be pure and our aim true, the impact and effectiveness of our message is rooted in the source. Be your own leader first. Become the change you wish to see in the world. Set the standard as high as YOU can place it, then use yourself as the example to pull others up. Anything else is simply hot air, idling away for others to fume about enmasse.

*

Luke Purm

Speak and be Heard

It's funny how when you meet certain people who just open their mouths and not only do you listen but no matter what they say you like them- simply due to how they convey their message.

When listening to the radio last week our Prime Minister Gordon Campbell was on the Fox, firstly answering the questions of the on-air personalities, then he agreed to sit in on "Open Phones" and answer the questions of the listeners.

Now as I listen to the Fox on a daily basis the lead in to Campbell's appearance was consumed with everyone being all fired up craving not really his answers to questions regarding the Olympics, Americans being hired to do the construction that Canadian companies should be doing, the HST, utilization on Asian companies for Olympic apparel, the relocation of mentally ill/homeless people - by the time the day arrived for him to arrive I basically felt the same about the man that everyone else did - I wanted to see him suffer!

I couldn't imagine how he could possibly want to be in the hot seat and face this angry mob, not to mention how he sleeps at night or looks his grandchildren in the eye. But when the day came and I tuned in and began to listen to him answer questions and how he smoothly navigated is way slowly and concisely through the minefield he came across someone who was well "handled". He but a spin on every single point turning it all into the positive! No! As far as he was aware every amazingly successful construction job he was aware of did use Canadian companies and Canadian materials! In fact when it came to his attention that the Olympic apparel was to be given to a Chineses company to manufacture simply due to the fact that they had the lowest bid he didn't want to waste tax-payers hard earned dollars unnecessarily! And on and on... He was well-versed in statistics and reasons for the HST, he was listening to the council of some of British Columbia's brightest minds who agreed the HST is what BCer's need for a healthy future for our children. We should be thanking him. He was sincere and eloquent.

Now, amazingly it did not come across as sarcastic or condescending but humble and honest. By the end he signed off answering all that was put in front of him and winning over listeners. For the moments after the broadcast everyone involved wanted to see him succeed because that meant we would succeed. The gift of influence and the reason successful politicians, and speakers in general, are just that, successful.

My question to you is - how do you win over people and influence them?

- Angela Tames