Fail Intelligently

Failure. It’s happened before and it will happen again. It is something that we generally avoid at all costs because we are taught throughout life that it is a character flaw. There's no doubt that it can be upsetting and even embarrassing but it’s imperative if we are to grow. Unfortunately the larger your ambitions the more dependent you will be on your ability to overcome and learn from your mistakes. The sense of shame combined with inevitability of set backs when attempting difficult things explains why many people fall short when reaching for their goals or fail to establish them in the first place.

Sometimes failure is our own fault and occasionally it’s not but this doesn’t really make a difference. The key is to always internalize the scenario and ask yourself what you could have done differently. If you externalize the blame and accept that the failure wasn’t your fault you are missing out on an invaluable opportunity to learn. As author James Dale puts it,

“Every failure is an MBA on how to do it better next time. Failure doesn’t lead to success. It leads to knowledge which leads to success”.

But remember, you can only learn from a mistake after you have admitted that you’ve made it. Own it 100%. Then it’s possible to move the focus away from blame assignment and towards understanding.

Famous Mistakes:

Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
Albert Einstein’s parents were told that he was likely mentally handicapped.
Napoleon finished near the bottom of his military school class.
The Beatles were turned down for a recording contract by Decca Records.
John Grisham’s first novel was rejected by 16 agents and 12 publishers.
Elvis Presley didn’t make the glee club.

I’d wager a bet that nobody has ever heard of Jordan’s old coach or any of the others responsible for mistakes in the list above. Most likely because they didn’t learn from their oversight and redeem themselves. Conversely we all know Donald Trump's story: rock bottom bankruptcy to the status that we see today.

The learning from mistakes checklist:

Accepting responsibility makes learning possible.
Don’t equate making mistakes with being a mistake.
You can’t change mistakes, but you can choose how to respond to them.
Growth starts when you can see room for improvement.
Work to understand why it happened and what the factors were.
What information could have avoided the mistake?
What small mistakes, in sequence, contributed to the bigger mistake?
Are there alternatives you should have considered but did not?
What kinds of changes are required to avoid making this mistake again? What kinds of change are difficult for you?
How do you think your behavior should/would change in you were in a similar situation again?
Work to understand the mistake until you can make fun of it (or not want to kill others that make fun).

Don’t over-compensate: the next situation won’t be the same as the last.