.transformation.

If you have read my inventory, you know that my parents divorced after I graduated high school. My dad actually left my mum, sister and I for another woman. It took many years, but now my bond with him is so much stronger than it ever was in those days… Both my mum and dad really blossomed after they split up. When the smoke cleared, it was amazing to say the least.
My father started his new life and for him everything was peachy, he married into a great family and was supported from the onset of his new relationship…
My mother was left a little high and dry. My sister and I were forced to grow up a little faster than planned and my mother had to learn how to support herself (mentally, emotionally and financially)
My mother had a couple relationships since then, but nothing that really made her choose to fall in love. My sister and I were there for her, but as we were dealing with life and everything, we really had our own things going on.
Fast forward a bit.
Last summer, my mother went back east for a friend reunion. She had grown up in Montreal and spent summers at their summer home at the lake. Anyways, she went back last summer some 40years later to visit with some pals who she had kept in touch with. It was then that she saw him – an old boyfriend from her teens. She didn’t think too much about it, he was married with grown up kids and lived on the other side of Canada. Well a conversation was good enough at the time. My mum came back to Vancouver and life moved on. Of course with the world as small as it is, email chains and all that, my mum and this former sweetheart chatted a few times via email…
Now, earlier this year (2009) my mum asked me over to chat. This is big because we have an amazing relationship and talk all the time – what did she want to talk about?
I went over and she told me…Richard, I’m in love…
Whoa, I didn’t know what to say or how to react…she then told me that she had communicating with this fellow and one day he told her, ‘I can’t live without you’
She replied with the same feelings and so it began (The details are not important - but the message is)
My feelings are two fold. I’m so excited for my mum – but very sad because she is moving to Montreal this week!

Now, she is leaving and starting a new life. This is harder the older we are. We must trust ourselves and those around us. We must commit and jump in with 2feet…

The parallel is this - when we have someone walking into our facility for the first time they are nervous, anxious and excited at the same time. They want to trust but may be hesitant…they want to believe in themselves but again, are hesitant. We are in the business of building self esteem, challenging and supporting until victory. So do the right thing, follow the systems and get ready to change a life!

Good luck Mum, I love you the whole world full!

Juno Awards

To see a show live show compared to watching it on TV is a completely different experience, in which there are pro and cons to both.

Previously when watching an award show on TV, you always wonder what happens live when the commercials are running, does the show continue and the viewers miss part of show or does the live show come to a stand still while the audience waits for the commercials to end?

In actual fact the live show comes to stand still and the TV production takes precedence. The big screen becomes dark, there is a lull while the set on stage is being changed for the next performer and the Master of Ceremonies is having a costume change. Occasionally, on some of the commercial breaks there was some interaction with the stars, but the performers and presenters were all getting ready for when the cameras were ready to roll again.

It was interesting being in the live audience for these awards. Seeing the glamour of the stars on the red carpet while being interviewed and photographed, listening to a hilarious James Brown and being able to see numerous performers perform there hit song. The atmosphere was also something that you would not experience at home watching it on the TV, star-stuck fans screaming for there favorite idol, listening to 6 live mini concerts in one 2 hour show and not to mention the fact that you are in the same building as the stars.

There is obviously some pros to seeing it on TV, for example you get to actually see the artists faces instead of just silhouettes on the stage, you are in the comfort of your on home and do not have to spend 8 dollars on a beverage. However that being said, my personal opinion is that everything is better and more exciting being there live, the atmosphere, the fashion, the music and be able to go to the show with a group of awesome people!

Love Doesn't Hurt

“The former light-heavyweight champion Jose Torres once asked Mike Tyson what the best blow he had ever thrown was.’ Man, I'll never forget that punch,' Tyson said. 'It was when I fought with Robin [Givens] in Steve's apartment. She really offended me and I went bam, and she flew backward, hitting every fucking wall in the apartment.'” - David Remnick, writing in The New Yorker

A doormat is an inanimate object. You can wipe your feet on it, step on it, kick it around, or whatever you like. It has no will of its own. It can be your servant but not your lover. When we treat our spouses as objects, we preclude the possibility of love. Manipulation by guilt is not the language of love. Coercion by fear is alien to love. We may allow ourselves to be used, but we are in fact creatures of emotion, thoughts and desires. And we have the ability to make decisions and take actions. Allowing oneself to be used or manipulated by another is not an act of love. It is, in fact an action of treason. You are allowing him or her to develop inhumane habits. Love says, ‘I love you too much to let you treat me this way. It is not good for you or me.’

So, why did Rhianna return to Chris Brown less than a month after his violent assault, especially since she told police the incident wasn’t the first time he had abused her?

Among the many sad elements to this story are the backgrounds of both Rihanna and Chris Brown. Rihanna’s father was a crack addict and alcoholic who was abusive and then out of her life for several years until he got clean. Like Tyson, Brown grew up in chaos. In a 2007 interview with Giant, Brown said that his stepfather regularly beat his mother: “He made me terrified all the time, terrified like I had to pee on myself. I remember one night he made her nose bleed. I was crying and thinking, ‘I’m just gonna go crazy on him one day…’ ‘I hate him to this day.”

‘When you grew up in an environment where there is abuse, it's more acceptable to you,’ Oprah Winfrey said. ‘It's so sad that even when you grow up in an environment and you disdain that environment, you really cannot help yourself until someone helps you.’

‘If you go back with a man who hits you, it's because you don't think you're worthy of being with a man who won't,’ Winfrey said. ‘I've said before love doesn't hurt, and if a man hits you once, he will hit you again.’

Find Your Niche

George Parros, resident tough guy for the Anaheim Ducks, hardly fits the image of your average NHL hockey player. The 28 year old, 6’5’’, 230 pounder has become one of the more popular and recognizable players in Ducks’ history. Partly because of his distinctive mustache and flowing hair but also because he led the league in fighting majors last year as the team’s heavyweight enforcer. He has quickly become a fan favorite and a thorn in the side of all opposing teams. You know you’ve made it when children dress up as you as a Halloween costume (which was apparently very popular in Southern California this past year).

But George hasn’t always been a goon who drops the gloves as often as he touches the puck. Few realize that he has an Ivy League education with a degree in finance from Princeton and that he was a skilled goal scorer in college. He was the team captain in his senior year of university and managed to get drafted. Instead of insisting that he retain the role that he had always known, Parros soon realized that it was very unlikely he could hack it as a goal scoring forward in the pros. He decided that it was time for re-invention:

“It started after the Kings drafted me and I came out to their summer development program. I realized I’m a big body and I like to hit. So, I figured if I was going to play that way professionally, I would have to defend myself. I might as well learn slowly and get my feet wet in the summertime, go out there and fight and feel my way around. Then when I turned pro, I realized that if I had a chance to make the NHL, it would probably be as a fighter. Otherwise, it would be a longer road trying to make it as a scorer or a checking line guy. I figured, as big as I am, that would help me make the team".

We are all on the same path of personal and professional growth. We identify our strengths and weaknesses, understand our tendencies and try to improve upon areas that are deficient. For instance, thorough and analytical types strive to be louder and more dynamic while Mr. / Mrs. Personality try to be more technical and detail oriented. I’m of the opinion that there are situations when there’s no need for a bunch of people who are great at everything. Often your best bet is to embrace your tendencies and what you excel at and run with it.

Group dynamics are incredibly important on any team or at any workplace. The most successful teams often succeed because they have individuals who know their role and do it extremely well. When we try to be something we’re not there’s the risk of spreading ourselves thin and forgetting to execute what we naturally do well at a high level. It may be a great idea to take a lesson from George Parros and find your niche. Analyze your surroundings, identify what is missing from the group dynamic, decide on what you can offer consistently and assume that role. Otherwise, it may be a longer road trying to make it to the next level as someone who is perfect in absolutely all facets.

Seriously...

Okay, let me start this off with the a variation on the caveat that Sideshow Bob used in an episode of Simpsons... I recognize that by doing what I'm about to do, I'm actually ALSO doing precisely what I'm going to rail against - the irony isn't lost on me.

BUT:

Why does Paris Hilton (and there are others, she's just who I've chosen as a focal point) continue to not only get attention... but also get adulation for it? If someone can tell me one, single way that she has helped anyone (besides herself), then I would be happy to hear it. Because from what I see, she's never done anything of note - yet she releases albums (she can't sing), stars in movies (she can't act), and is PAID to attend parties (she can't dance). On top of all of this, she never says anything worth repeating... yet people (especially, and most troubling, teenage girls) continue to idolize her.

Truthfully, I don't fault her for taking advantage of the opportunities she's been so incredibly lucky to have been given... if I could, I would probably release an album, star in a movie and travel the world. My bigger issue is that with all of these experiences and with all of the money - she does absolutely nothing to make the world a better place. No, what bothers me more about this is the fact that there are people who, every day, have more positive impact on this world than she's brought about in her entire life - yet they never get the recognition they deserve. The only consolation is that these same people are the ones who do it not for the reward or accolades, but simply because it's the right thing to do.

To all of those people (and you know who you are) - thank you. And to Paris Hilton (and all others like her) - stop being useless and start doing something that benefits someone other than yourself.

~Guy

Recap…daily…reflect…

I came across this article and found it interesting in regards to the parallels with reflection and writing a journal…a daily recap perhaps?

More and more is seems that people fall into a trap of moving too fast and not taking the time to be grateful…even pay respect to everything around themselves…what do you thnk?

Finding Joy In Gridlock Traffic:
Gratitude is the gentle recognition, rediscovery or "re-remembering" of the simple abundance around you.
It is to be a child again, in awe of a purple crayon.
It is sprinting from your car to the office and stopping your jangled thoughts just long enough to savor the sight of someone holding the elevator door for you, someone you do not even know.
Gratitude is noticing the extraordinary in the ordinary. And then taking the nanosecond to feel it.
But in this adrenaline-driven, multi-tasking frenzy we call Life, how do we have time to stop and smell the roses when we don't even have time to stop for gas?
Easy...
1. Just stop.
To access a sense of wonder, every hour or so, just stop. Just for a moment. Take a breath, wherever you are, and step out of your raging river of thought and look around. Notice the photograph hanging in your cubicle that you put up months ago, but haven't noticed since. Look at each face and recall the one thing about them you couldn't live without. "Re-remember" why you hung the photo in the first place.
2. Freeze-frame it.
"Think about someone, something in your life you loved and freeze-frame the picture," says clinical psychologist Blair Justice, Ph.D., professor-emeritus of psychology at the UT School of Public Health at Houston . "The physical effect on the heart [when overlaid by the emotional heart of loving] is what's called cardiac-coherence."
Everything comes into balance when the physical heart and the emotional heart are, say, beating as one.
"A growing body of research supports the notion that rediscovering a sense of abundance by thinking about those people and things we love lowers the risks of coronary events," Justice offers.
3. Create a gratitude journal.
"The gratitude journal assigns us to look for and record the ordinary wonders that come across our paths," Justice explains.It may take the form of a gratitude list:
· an old friend called you today
· your kids cleared the table without a fight
· a co-worker walked you through a computer snag
At first you may find yourself listing the "at leasts"
· at least my kids aren't starving
· at least I have a roof over my head
· at least I have two legs
Tapping into a sense of abundance doesn't mean that someone else must have it worse for you to feel better about your lot. Nor does it mean that you can't whine when you're stuck in gridlock traffic.
It simply means that since you are stuck in traffic, you might let your mind surrender to the idea of "found time" with yourself, instead of wasted time in traffic. Found time in a gratitude journal might read, "Someone let me into their lane in gridlock traffic. I waved a 'thank you.' They waved back. It felt good."
4. Replace the words 'at least' with 'even if'.
Feeling a sense of emotional wealth comes from a deep, abiding acknowledgement of the present moment. Let's face it: yesterday is gone. Tomorrow, or even tonight isn't here yet. All we have is right now. In a gratitude journal you might write, " Even if I am stuck in traffic, I have a fabulous new CD, a half-tank of gas and a glorious sunset in my rearview mirror."
5. Change your lens.
Justice suggests that life can be viewed through a different lens, to gain a fresh perspective. First, try on the wide-angle lens: before you define a moment as bad, negative, hurtful, or simply boring, view the situation broadly, both literally and figuratively. Then flip it to the micro-lens to find the extraordinary in the ordinary, or "the sacred in the profane," says Justice.
Say you have an important meeting that you've just found out requires you to walk several buildings over because there's no parking. This is a surprise to you. Now you're crunched for time, not dressed for a hike, unsure how to get there on foot and worried how your laptop is going to make your bad back feel six blocks later.. Put on the macro lens: in the grand scheme
· it doesn't really matter if you're five minutes late
· the other attendees are walking, too
· a comfortable amble will lower your heart rate before this big meeting
· and this irritation will be lost to your memory by dinner tonight
· and you'll know just how out of shape you've become
· and this will be your wake-up call to start walking every day
Flip it to the micro lens: if you zoom up closely
· the grounds to the building are stunning
· there's a man feeding a squirrel right out of his hand
· the sun on your face feels good
· your shoes really were a steal, now that you think about it
· You enter the meeting relaxed, refreshed and awake
6. The three questions
Justice practices a gentle daily examination. "At the end of the day, I ask myself three questions."
· What has surprised me?
· What has touched me?
· What has inspired me?
He says that "hard-bitten folks have trouble finding beauty or seeing life anew in a daily way, and their arteries and immune system suffer for it." Answering these three questions inspires us to see the stuff of our days through fresh eyes.
Justice tells the story of a burned-out, jaded heart surgeon who attended a workshop on stress reduction. When asked these three questions, "he rolled his eyes, scoffed at the question and answered, 'Nothing, nothing, nothing, respectively.' "
Justice says that the surgeon was told that he was only seeing the human heart through the eyes of a surgeon, and it was time to see the heart through the eyes of a poet or an artist.
"When he returned to the group, he told how he had tried to change his eyes and for the first time in his career, a patient reached out and hugged him. The physician was floored, and forever changed," Justice recalls.
7. Connect your mind to your body
Studies show that journaling-recalling the day's events-both challenging ones and joyous ones, decreases physical symptoms of pain and illness, "and increases our sense of well being," Justice says.
Research also supports that the frequency of appreciation for the small things and the intensity with which we feel gratitude have an exponential growth potential. It creates a benevolent avalanche: the more often you tap into joy, the more joyous you'll feel, the deeper you'll feel it. The body's immune system and cardiovascular system then reap the benefits.
Sensing gratitude is the simplest possible gift we can give to ourselves that yields the highest possible return on our investment...

Think about it.

Nutrition Challenge

Today, The Nutrition Challenge started in West Vancouver. We have a total of 64 participants taking part, who are ready to take in the challenge to eat healthy for 31days. I believe this challenge has had such a big following because it is doable. The point of the challenge is to not cut off all bad food and drinkS because I believe everyone has different realities and in the end it is their choice. I want people to consciously eat right for a month and cut down on the bad eating habits. It takes 21 days to change a habit, so I hope we can accomplish that with this challenge.

My main personal goal is for the challengers to learn about nutrition through educational emails, holding them accountable for sending in their food logs everyday and to get them outside doing destinations.

Stay tuned for updates from the West Vancouver Nutrition Challenge!