How to Take Criticism

In an article written by Eleanor Roosevelt entitled, ‘How to Take Criticism’ she wrote, “There is no question about it – all criticism is entirely permissible. Hence the question is ‘How much attention should the individual criticized pay to criticism?’”

There are two kinds of criticism which come to us all in this world. One is constructive criticism. To be really constructive, criticism must come to us from people whom we know and whose judgment we trust and who we feel really care, not only for us as individuals, but for the things which may be affected by the actions or attitudes which we take. Destructive criticism is always valueless and anyone with common sense soon becomes completely indifferent to it. It may, of course, be cruel at times.

To do anything constructive or creative in this world, people must have some self-confidence. Therefore people who love them must always be careful even in giving their honest criticism and opinions, not to destroy completely an individual's faith in their own judgment!

It is sometimes better to let people make mistakes and learn from experience. This may be less harmful than being criticized, and told over and over that something you are doing is wrong or inadvisable. Everyone who launches forth on constructive criticism should bear in mind the fact that it is sometimes hard to put oneself in anyone else's shoes. What might be right for you may be quite wrong for someone else, because they approach life from a different angle. In addition, I think that if you care about people you sometimes allow your judgment to become clouded and criticize with a view to preventing them from doing things which you feel will bring them the difficulties of general criticism when as a matter of fact, succumbing to such considerations would perhaps be more painful than all the outside criticism could ever be.

Fear for those we love is one of the reasons that many of us are critical and it is something which we should weigh very carefully before expressing ourselves.

I would not want the people I love and who are most often with me to withhold criticism, but since those are the people you must count on for giving you the courage to live with a purpose, they are the ones who have the greatest responsibility to make their criticism constructive, since they know you will pay attention to them.

As Eleanor went on to write in the same article, “Some criticisms I read and forget. Some remain with me and have been very valuable because I know they were kindly meant and honest and I admired and believed in the integrity of the people who expressed their convictions which were opposed to mine.”

And, in the words of her aunt, Mrs. William Sheffield Cowles, who was President Theodore Roosevelt’s sister, and the aunt that many of the young people in their family went to for advice, "Do not be bothered by what people say as long as you are sure that you are doing what seems right to you, but be sure that you face yourself honestly."