You know what I can't stand? Okay, yes, you're right - there are a lot of things. But seriously - why is it that when people decide to do something that's even remotely helpful to anyone or anything, that they are somehow then entitled to exemptions from the standards that all the rest of us have to live by?

Okay, perhaps I'm being vague - I'll spell out an example.

The commuter cyclist.

You know who I'm talking about. That guy on the single-speed cruiser, rolling along with a coffee in one of his hands and a gigantic pair of aviator glasses, thinking that he's pretty super-cool because he's confident enough in his sexual orientation that he can ride a bike with a straw basket in front.

Now, don't misunderstand me. The trappings don't make the individual, and I'm sure there are other coffee drinking, clamdigger-and-birkenstock wearing guys out there on cruisers that are pretty decent. BUT - more often than not, there's a self-righteous "I'm doing this for the environment and chicks dig me because of it" attitude that goes along with it...

But that's not actually it. No, I probably wouldn't even notice them if they didn't also roll down the middle of the street slowing traffic, arrogantly unaware of the line of traffic building behind them and only getting out of the way long enough to ignore a stop sign and ride up onto the sidewalk for a block.

If you're one of these yahoos, remember - once you're on the bike you're actually on a vehicle. Treat it as such.

• Wear a helmet
• Signal when you're turning
• Stay to the side of the lane - not to where you put yourself in jeopardy, but where traffic can actually get around you
• And for the love of God, STAY OFF THE SIDEWALK. It's outright dangerous.

And to those of you on mopeds that drive over the Lion's Gate Bridge on the sidewalk... I hope your engine conks out and you have to actually use those wee little peddles for the 30km drive ahead of you. If Karma has any sense of humour - I'll see you peddling furiously up Arbutus Hill sometime before the weather changes.

~Guy