Negative Self-Talk

Researchers estimate that it’s necessary for the ratio of positive-to-negative comments to be at least five to one for a relationship to be healthy and survive long-term. For these reasons, we’re taught not to let others put us down, but sometimes the person eroding our sense of self-worth and limiting our potential is us! That’s right, our self talk, or the words our inner dialogue uses when we think, can increase our stress levels, limit our potential, and color our experience with a negative pen.

Self-Limitation: If you say "I can’t handle this", you more likely can’t. This is because your subconscious mind tends to believe the thoughts it hears. You can limit your abilities by telling yourself you "can’t", that "this is too hard" or that you ‘shouldn’t even try’.

Limited Thinking: When you tell yourself you can’t handle something (or some other self-limiting thought), you tend to stop looking for solutions. For example, notice the difference between telling yourself you can’t handle something and asking yourself how you will handle something. Doesn’t the second thought feel more hopeful and produce more creativity? Negative self talk tends to be a self-fulfilling prophecy!

Change Self-Limiting Statements to Questions: Self-limiting statements like “I can’t handle this!” or “This is impossible!” are particularly damaging because they increase your stress in a given situation and they stop you from searching for solutions. The next time you find yourself thinking something that limits the possibilities of a given situation, turn it into a question. Doesn’t “How can I handle this?” or “How is this possible?” sound more hopeful and open up your imagination to new possibilities?