Lessons from Camp

Lately in many of my conversations, I've begun reflecting back on some of the realizations that I had in previous incarnations - most particularly, from the years I spent working at the residential camp in Alberta. While there were many smaller lessons to be learned more specific to the time and place (like the challenges of having shoulder-length hair while living in the mountains, and how ridiculous I looked with it), there were other, larger lessons which have a universal truth, and which I can new see transfer into everything we currently do. Of all of them, there is a singular definitive one that stands out:

Follow through.

See, here's the thing - all kids will fight you on all parameters, all restrictions, all boundaries. It's their nature, and it's part of their development as individuals. BUT: despite all the tantrums, despite all of their crying and shouts of "It's not fair"... they WANT those boundaries. They want them, because parameters make them feel safe, and when someone enforces those boundaries consistently, and with respect, they feel cared for. The kids who were allowed to have too much free reign, or who were let off the hook ("Yes, I know that I told him he'd be grounded if he did that, but that's not fair to ME... I don't want to have to stay home and babysit"), in the end, tend to have trouble with boundaries and respect themselves.

Funny thing is - it's the same with adults.

Whether it's holding customers or teammates accountable, you MUST set deadlines, and you MUST follow through with the commitments you made - whether it's a repercussion from missing a deadline, a failure to meet a standard (ie. letting them pause during the jump squat in profiling session), or simply missing a session outright... people have to know that you are going to call them to task on it. They may not like it when you do so, they may feel it's unfair, and they may be pissed of at you in that moment - but if you are consistent in what you're asking, if you respect them enough to explain the "what/why/how", and if you FOLLOW THROUGH on what you've promised... well, they may not like you, but they will respect you. Remember - we are not trying to be their friends. We are trying to lead them.

When I was little, there was one thing that stuck in my mind was during the Trudeau era. Being from western Canada, of course, my parents couldn't stand a number of the policies that he implemented - but I can still remember hearing my mom say "You may not like him, you may hate what he's doing... but you've got to respect him. Because he tells you what he's going to do, and then he does it".

Next time you consider letting someone "off the hook", either because you feel badly for them or because following through will actually inconvenience you as much (or more) than the other person, think about the long-term effect on them. Will they be a better athlete/coach/person if they finish what they've started properly?

Set the bar high... and the expectations higher.