Following the decisive blow to Napoleon in 1815, a Morse-like message (delivered with powerful light beams), flashed across the English Channel: "Wellington defeated"!
Panic swept through the British nation and its Board of Trade collapsed. The cause of their terror? Much of the intended message - "Wellington defeated Napoleon at Waterloo" - had been obliterated by fog.
How does miscommunication happen? It happens when one side doesn’t communicate enough information to us, or we misinterpret the real meaning of their words. In either case, we get a different meaning of their words than they intended.
This is a becoming a common problem now-a-days because type-based communication is asynchronous communication, meaning that people do not communicate in real time – it’s essentially a telegram. Asynchronous communication does not allow for immediate feedback response, so our minds have to interpret what the other person is saying based upon their typed words alone. Although most common in typed-based communication, miscommunication can also occur in any type of communication setting.
People always fear the worst outcome. In miscommunication, the mind will fill in the missing information with their own creative insight, which is often fear-based - our minds will always think of the worst possible outcomes based on our fears and insecurities. Our minds need logical explanations to events. One of our most basic needs is the need to have answers and the need for reasons and explanations.
Absent those needs, our minds switch to a fear-based mode where we have to satisfy our need for answers with that of assumption. Assumption is a derivative of fear because we always assume the worst based on our fears and insecurities. Assumption therefore fulfills our need for a logical explanation for the unexplainable event and we tend to become locked into that assumption, believing it as truth.
Panic swept through the British nation and its Board of Trade collapsed. The cause of their terror? Much of the intended message - "Wellington defeated Napoleon at Waterloo" - had been obliterated by fog.
How does miscommunication happen? It happens when one side doesn’t communicate enough information to us, or we misinterpret the real meaning of their words. In either case, we get a different meaning of their words than they intended.
This is a becoming a common problem now-a-days because type-based communication is asynchronous communication, meaning that people do not communicate in real time – it’s essentially a telegram. Asynchronous communication does not allow for immediate feedback response, so our minds have to interpret what the other person is saying based upon their typed words alone. Although most common in typed-based communication, miscommunication can also occur in any type of communication setting.
People always fear the worst outcome. In miscommunication, the mind will fill in the missing information with their own creative insight, which is often fear-based - our minds will always think of the worst possible outcomes based on our fears and insecurities. Our minds need logical explanations to events. One of our most basic needs is the need to have answers and the need for reasons and explanations.
Absent those needs, our minds switch to a fear-based mode where we have to satisfy our need for answers with that of assumption. Assumption is a derivative of fear because we always assume the worst based on our fears and insecurities. Assumption therefore fulfills our need for a logical explanation for the unexplainable event and we tend to become locked into that assumption, believing it as truth.
When we are faced with miscommunication, we must keep our minds open to additional possibilities without adopting a certain truth about the other person until we know exactly from them what they are thinking. How can this be accomplished? Well, your fears and assumptions will automatically kick in. There is no way to fend against that because that is how our minds are wired. Instead of adopting those assumptions as the truth however, simply acknowledge those assumptions as one possibility out of a number of possibilities. List other possibilities with your assumptions and acknowledge them all without judging or evaluating them. Simply tell yourself, "These are all possible, but we don’t know the truth yet, so I won’t lock myself into any one of them." By keeping your mind open to additional possibilities, you can break the assumption triangle and prevent miscommunication conflict from happening.
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